what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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