The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize