Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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