I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
