Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize