Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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