Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
