Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
