You really coming over, don't trick.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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