Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
