i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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