Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
