I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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