i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize