I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
