Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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