My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
