So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Holy shit dude........stairs
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