well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
