A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
