It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
