no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
