Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
