she woke up with a sticky ear
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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