If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize