These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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