are you so shy because you have an std?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i think i just lost a toe
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
