ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
