we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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