You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
