I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
