I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Let's paint friendship bongs
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
