i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
