You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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