i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
is wine microwaveable?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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