she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
