During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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