Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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