the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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