i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
