You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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