One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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