dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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