is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
