i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i came on her dog
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
