suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize