I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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