Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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