His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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