As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
