ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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