I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize