Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Randomize
