Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
