and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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