"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
