He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
