he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
