She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
