He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
