Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
