Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

I am going to give you the keys to my place

(1-561): View more from Florida

Then I'll give you the keys to my heart

(561): View more from Florida

Gag me

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.

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(630): View more from Illinois

just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea

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(503): View more from Oregon

Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...

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(954): View more from Florida

The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited

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