I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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