It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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