Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
