we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize