Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
