you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize