The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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