I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
