You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
