i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
