Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
